not eating: depression or god interceding?

Joel 2:12 CEB
"Yet even now, says the Lord, return to Me with all your heart, keeping from food, with weeping and with sorrow..."


With my position as Director of Children's & Youth Ministries (and even prior), I have participated in many 36-hour fasts through the years. Although, it's been a while.

Recently, I was forced into a fast with out my humanness realizing it. It was only after about 14 days that I started to truly hear Jesus’ Voice in my head telling me to slowly come out of it. Making me get up and make my bed. Not allowing me to cry as long as I was. Forcing me to eat small things like oatmeal, even though it tasted like baby food! Reminding me to take vitamins. To drink water. To get apple juice. To sit with the sun on my face, even it it’s just peaking thru the dark, semi-closed curtains of my bedroom.

I've been better for the past week. Yes, I did lose close to 10 pounds but it was not a healthy loss. I am now coming out of the fog and realizing it wasn't only a depressed section but in fact, more that God wanted me to realign myself with who I truly am inside. And that was not going to happen if I didn't slow down as much as I was forced to by, now I know, the Holy Spirit.

I never saw it this way before and thought I should share. In times of stress, maybe it's more of God aligning us than it is just not wanting to eat or get back into life because of humanness. And emotion. I truly believe now our emotions are our best friends. When we are out of alignment with who we truly are inside, our emotions run wild. Our brain stresses our fears and highlights everything. We forget how loved we are by God and others! And as long as we are strengthened by that Love and connection, we learn to trust more in Our Father and in what we already know, deep inside.  

So much more to say…. 

I've told my sister recently and my daughter… There's a special kind of crazy in truly letting God take over. And I mean that lightly; or do I?!

There's a resistance that goes away. We are taught to fight, to do things, to not be ‘lazy’, to never give up… but with Love and in alignment with God, we really need to do nothing. Just pray. Believe. And really, really trust.


Sidenote on Fasting:
Traditionally, we fast from food.  We are to reset our body and mind by filling in the void with prayer and meditation.  It Heals us, in total.
However, we can also "fast" from social media, situations and other things that take up our time.  And during this Lenten season, it's a perfect time to decide what needs to go for now (for ever?) and what to fill that time and mental space up with, instead. :)