My Turning Point; When I found Healing.

All of my life, I was connected to those who had crossed over (to God).  It was very normal and natural to me.  I will explain the details in a future blog post but for now, that's the back story.  :)

In my mid-30's, I was Blessed to work at our church.  For 8 years, I was enraptured in the role of Director of Children's & Youth Ministries.  Our church, that program and those kids/families became my entire world.  My husband co-Directed and we taught side-by-side.  All 5 of our children were in the program at one time or another; to one extent or another.  Those years were some of the very best times of my life and absolutely some of the worse times of my life.  It was a time of pure growth.

I was brought up Roman Italian Catholic (school and all) ~ My husband was brought up Presbyterian.  We ended up becoming members of and taught at a United Methodist Church.  Interesting, uh?  :)  

In any faith circle, I did not feel comfortable to even mention my Sensitivities.  I'm sure anyone reading this can understand.  So, while growing up, I shut them down.  

i noticed though, in particular while working at my home church during those eight years, my intuition grew exponentially.  And no, it wasn't like I would be in the building at night and saw things or heard anything - I just could feel myself gaining a real relationship with God.  One that would eventually overpower anything "Earthly".  I felt as if He was really forcing me to grow.  It felt a bit unnerving to me, I admit! As time went on, it was as if He kicked open very large, double doors to my soul!  I was receiving information, clarification, even "video images" in my mind of certain situations and conversations.  In many ways, my soul was coming alive again.  

A few times, i received messages from Spirit (those who have crossed over) in my dreams.
Sidenote: I believe we receive messages in dreamstate because it's simply easier, less frightening.  :)  

I remember one 'dream', in particular, towards the end of those 8 years.  I was visiting with a man who clearly told me who he was - showed me what he looked like while here in his physical state a long time ago.  He wanted me to wish his wife a very Happy Birthday.  She was turning 91, if I remember correctly.  He kept showing me the exact flowers he wanted to present to her - he said the words "peaches and cream" to me over and over again (probably so I wouldn't forget!).  He even went as far as showing me the piano which was at her home and the very small booklets that were displayed across that piano.  He also showed me his arms stretched out wide as if he was welcoming her home - although, he stood in the front doors of our church.  

He also was very adamant that I call her and give her his message "before 8:30am"!  I mean "BEFORE 8:30am!!"  Although, he was very sweet about it...  :)

When I awoke that morning, I was afraid.  You see, this wonderful man happened to say he is the father of my friend - who is also one of the pillars of our church.  I would have to really trust in God that I would be 'safe' and that my friend (and her mother) would accept this message.  Then I had to trust that I would not be ridiculed or scorned - or fired.  I had a LOT to think about.  But the whole time I was "thinking/pondering/shaking" his words of "Before 8:30am" took precedence!  So, I gave all caution to the wind, said a prayer, and called my friend.  Yes, just before 8:30am.  

I explained quickly that I do sometimes "have these weird dreams" but felt a strong need to pass along 'these messages' - and thus, I did.  My friend was very kind to me and explained that yes, indeed it was her mother's birthday today and "it's a good thing you got a hold of me now because I am taking her to get her hair done at 8:30 and we'll probably be gone all day!"  ;)   

That Sunday while at Worship, my friend came to me during a hymn with tears, hugged me and thanked me for our conversation.  You see, apparently every word was confirmed.  The flowers were her mother's favorite, the 'peaches and cream' sang love notes to her ears,  and the piano apparently does don lovely small booklets, on display.  She explained to me how much her mother's heart opened and smiled.  She used words like "blessed" and "healing" to describe the experience.  My heart pounded - with delight and happiness for them both!

As it turned out, that was her mother's last birthday here in the physical world.  I had a feeling that was why her husband was spreading his arms wide in welcoming.  Although, I'm glad I never mentioned my suspicions. 


Only a few other times did I received strong messages and felt brave enough to share with those close friends/members of our congregation after that point, not to mention the mail lady, a fellow grocery-shopper and a friend of one of my older children.   I was honest in expressing my fears and my life-long Sensitivities to each person.  I did see a few other Spirits alongside some sons and daughters but I knew when to speak of it - and when to swallow it.  I said many prayers of forgiveness when I did not talk.  :)   I felt so bad but there were times back then that I could just not do it.

As I close this blog up, you may be wondering, "Were you ever found out?  Ever ridiculed?"  Yes.  And even with that, God's Hand was guiding the process.  I am sure of it.  You see, remember that vacation I spoke about in my first blog's story?  Well, while on that particular vacation, we made the decision to move there.  On the long drive home, after placing a PO in on a home, I began to rethink our very spontaneous-seeming decision!  I was having panic attacks the whole drive, praying to God to give me answers.  The day after we arrived home, I found out that while I was away those 10 days, one very out-spoken person in our congregation 'found out', spoke negatively about my Gifts to many people within the Pastor's downline - and yes, to our Pastor himself.  This person was putting the heat on for my resignation for I was "of the devil".  Well, at least that's what I heard.  This person never did come to me, as I do remember the Bible recommending ;)   I did ask for such communication and conversation but nothing.  And even though most did come to me and talk - and at least tried to understand, demonstrating His Love - I knew it was God's way of saying, "time to move on now".  So, I did.  And if I hadn't continued on with our move decision, I would not be where I am today - at Peace and doing what I must have been built to do afterall.  And every time I question myself, He gives me an uplifting and undeniable answer.  'Cuz you know, as I like to say, "He's good like that."  :)

The following is the very first REAL experience I had in many, many years that absolutely propelled me to move forward as a Medium, professionally.  For me personally, this experience blew away many doctrines that I learned along the way  ~  almost 30 years melted in one afternoon.  This experience taught me to "get out of my own way" - for it's not about me....it's about Healing.  This took place exactly 12 months to our big move.  ;)  Please enjoy...

My Visit from Jimmy
August 2013

I was constantly aware of this “psychic ability,” but before I really knew what to do with it, I found myself interrupted while gardening one summer morning.

No one was around me—or so I thought. I placed my hands in the dirt and packed more of that brown, wet, wormy stuff around my plant but I kept finding myself looking up to my left.  This went on for about half an hour.  

I finally said, “Yes?” out loud even though no one was around.  “I hear you!  I even sort of SEE you. But who the heck are ya? And what am I supposed to do for you?”

Immediately, I heard in my mind, “Jimmy” and “Can you talk to my wife please?” By impulse, I agreed. I had no idea what I agreed to, but I felt as if “Jimmy” meant business and probably wasn’t going to let me garden until I at least acknowledged him.  

I went into my home and sent out an email to the only four people who knew of my “sensitive side” (and seemed to still love me for it). In the email, I explained my new friend’s name, what he looked like, the fact he had a walking cane (on Earth at least he used one) and other details.  One thing he also showed me was a vision of myself driving an SUV, not paying attention, veering into traffic and then–that was it.  I woke back up from my strange daydream.

Three of the email recipients responded back to me right away, none knowing who Jimmy was or could have been.  It wasn’t until a few hours later I received a text from the last recipient (my step-mother) stating, “Hey, the guy your father bought his motorcycle from was named Jimmy and he used a cane.  Died by suicide a year or two ago. I think he was driving a small car though.”

That not only settled into my bones as a chilly spell but was also very ironic being that I was involved in a suicide prevention rally that coming weekend!  This was all making sense to me now.  Jimmy knew I was connected to the rally–I was connected to him through my father. I got it!

Then came the hard part.  I needed to contact his wife.  I sat with my father first and discussed it with him.  Naturally, his concern was if it was really Jimmy. In my bones and my soul, I absolutely knew it was.  It’s always difficult to explain to anyone why I know; I just feel it.

I found Jimmy’s wife Sarah on Facebook and messaged her with a quick note of who I am, the usual “I know this sounds strange, but…” and asked her to contact me on my cell if ever or when she felt comfortable to do so.

Within five minutes of sending Jimmy’s wife, Sarah, a note on Facebook, she called me.  I remember the feeling of excitement and anxiety all around Jimmy and myself.

As we talked, she confirmed the details I described: his bad leg, cane, attributes, appearance, demeanor, the fact that he died in an SUV. People claimed he died of suicide, but Sarah and her son never believed it.  Ever.

As we chatted, Jimmy showed up.  He was emphatic that he, in fact, did not take his own life.  He would never do that to Sarah and his children.  It’s just not in his loving nature to do something so selfish and he wanted to let her know once and for all.

At this point, I felt all was well. I did my part and Sarah had her confirmation.  I was ready to make dinner.  However, spirits have their own agenda as I found these words pouring out of my mouth before my earthly brain could stop them…

“He says he’s so sorry for the words he said just before he died.  He never meant them.  He was tired, exhausted really.  There were so many things happening around the marriage that he couldn’t control and he acted purely out of frustration.  Again, he is sorry.  He loves you.  He has always loved you.”

When my earthly senses finally caught up, I squinted my eyes as if the sunlight was directly reaching into them.  It hurt to “watch” this unfold.  I could only hear Sarah sobbing on the other end of my phone.  I asked myself–and Jimmy—what just happened?  What did I just do?  He seemed calm.  I could hear his voice in my head saying, “Don’t think of what you just said.  It’s not about you.  This is about Sarah and me.”

I let Sarah cry for a bit until I heard her muster the words, “He asked me for a divorce the day before he passed.”  Shocked and completely confused I asked her to repeat what she said… and she did.

Apparently, this is why friends would ask her what she was going to do. What would she tell people, as everyone assumed he passed by his own desire.  But her love for Jimmy prevailed as well.  She truly knew him.  And his message came at a pivotal time in her life as she recently was asked out to dinner by a nice man.  But her questions, her pain in all its physical and spiritual manifestations confused her and blurred her reasoning.  Now, Jimmy released her with his forever love.  It was a beautiful moment.

Sarah caught up with me about a month later.  She was beginning this new chapter in her life and was able to smile and laugh again.  She began a new point of healing.

Me too.

I will always be grateful for Jimmy.