Suicide. What Spirit has taught me; how the decisions have impacted me as a Medium.

Three times this past week, I have had my gut ripped out by those who have crossed over by their own hand and by their own intentions.  Please forgive me for being so candid.  There is no other way for me to release these feelings of anguish than by writing in a very raw way.  This will not be politically correct. This is what I have personally and professionally felt and learned.  I truly feel the push - the need - to share with as many people as I am able.  Weeks like these are not coincidental.  Please feel free to share, yourself.

Let me begin by saying that among these readings, 1 constant does remain; They are with God.  No matter how they left - why the left - who they were in this world - what ailed them while in this physical life, they ARE in the presence of The Creator.  

I will also say that this is the most difficult Blog to write.

Those left behind here in the physical world often ask the same questions:
"Is he okay?"
"Why did she do this to herself?  To us?"
"Does he regret what he did?"
"Is she in Hell?"

I am going to attempt to answer these common questions with answers and insight I have received from Spirit.  Believe me, I cry along with my clients.  I FEEL not only what they feel (empathic) but I also feel what the person who passed felt (sadness, dizziness, drunkenness, confusion, or pain, etc).  Afterwards, I also feel "left behind".  I usually need time to myself to Heal and to fill back up before proceeding to another Reading.  Most times, i feel plain empty.

We have to remember that Spirit (those who have passed on before us, allowed to communicate in many ways thru the Holy Spirit) still hold their personality.  They are a heightened version of who they were here in the physical world, when alive, as we knew them.  They are in the presence of God and are WHOLE, once more.  

"Is he okay?"
Yes.  He or she is okay.  I have never encountered a Spirit who has crossed over to God and not been okay.  They are usually very eager to communicate!  However, they are almost never eager to discuss, much less let me in on how they passed.  This is why it's always a *punch* to my gut - when (usually at the end of the session) they let me know.  I always see the word "suicide" and usually they show me what vehicle was used to end their body's life.

It's interesting to me that usually - like 85% of the time - when Spirit shows up to me, they let me know who they are and how they passed.  For instance, if someone appears who passed of a lung disease, they make me breathe funny.  :)  Or if they passed in an accident, I feel the impact and hear the snap of fingers (*it was quick*).  But with a suicide...nothing.  Even when I try and probe, they tell me "pay no mind" or "no bother", "doesn't matter".  You see, death - how they passed - is really not why they're wanting to communicate.  What they really want you to know?  How to Live and How to Love.

"Why did she do this to herself?  To us?"
As you know, I am not a clinician.  I am not a qualified counselor on the subject of suicide.  These are my stories; my truths.  

There are many reasons why we all do things.  Why we love - why we cheat - why we argue - why we laugh - and yes, also why we choose to give up on this amazing Gift of Life.  For the Spirits I have encountered who passed of suicide, there are still various reasons as to why they made the decision they ultimately made.

Some tell me they "didn't think it would really work".  Plain and simple.  Some have explained they were drunk or on some other substance and weren't really thinking a plan through.  Next thing they knew, "I was in front of God."  

A few have explained to me they felt SO much love for this world - for those around them - that they could not contain it any longer.  This is the most difficult to translate.  I personally refer to this as the "Robin Williams effect".  It is a deadly mixture of severe, clinical depression and hope - mixed with a felt Love they cannot claim here in the physical world.  A love that can only be felt in His Arms, exclusively.

Those in Spirit who have translated this to me also express the Peace they felt when they made that final decision.  


We all have free will.  God allowed us free will.  However in my experience, once passed, many souls either
*embrace their decision
still *work thru their decision (with God's help)
or *try and convey to their loved ones left behind to never make that decision themselves.  For they now see the beauty and the true Gift that Life offers.  

Life offers us the chance to make mistakes and to learn from them.  And with each lesson learned, our soul grows a higher consciousness.  It's as if we elevate to a higher plain.  


"Does he regret what he did?"
Most do tell me they regret the fact that they could not fix how they were feeling in their physical bodies.  They feel our pain - and they pray for our understanding.  



"Is she in Hell?"
No.  Not the Hell in which most of us see as a physical, burning world.  My experiences, studies and now belief is of our own inspired mental grief, "Hell".  And no, not every Spirit feels this pain.  I've only been privy to a small handful dealing with it.  

I will give you an example instead of the teaching word/trying to translate:
You are busy getting the kids ready for school and one spills his grape juice all over your white sofa.  He was screwing around instead of finishing up, as you asked him to do a million times already.  You impulsively scream at him, telling him things like, "You NEVER do what you're supposed to do!" and "I can't STAND you anymore!".  He goes off to school, clearly upset while you're scrubbing up the mess.  Minutes later, your heart stops and you pass.

What is now going thru your mind?  Even though you are now in the presence of our Almighty Lord, who allows you free will, even still - by the way....  What are you thinking?  Your last words to your son.  You agonize over this.  You try to correct the situation and your words, but you are not physically here to do so, as you once would have.  You thought you had time.  Hell.  Your own Hell.  

There are so many incarnations of our own Hell.  This is only a small example.


Please - if you are reading this blog and are experiencing feelings of emptiness, doubt or hopelessness - seek help.  Email me immediately and I will reach out for you - for help, understanding.  We all go thru heavy life situations - none of us are alone in any circumstance.  I promise you that.  I also promise you love.  You will get there.  Grab a cup of coffee and have a real conversation with your Maker.  You can yell, scream, accuse....The Creator can take it.  :)  He made you too.  He made you perfect.  He also trusts you enough to be that perfect self in an un-perfect world.  Take on the challenge.  Keep in touch with Him.  Today starts anew.  You Are Needed.  Your talents, your words, your beautiful smile...someone needs you right now.

And if you were looking for a sign not to end your life....this is it.  XO


#suicidepreventionlifeline.org  #1-800-273-8255

#yellowribbon.org

Veteran's Crisis Line #1-800-273-8255 or Text to #838255

In Charlotte County, FL  #941-575-0222